My Favorite Hilarious Pokemon Theory

Found on TVTropes.com’s pokemon page:

 

Pikachu is like Yubel from Yu-Gi-Oh GX: the real “boss” over Ash, and insanely jealous of anyone and anything that gets between their relationship.

Pikachu is the only Pokemon Ash doesn’t even hint at getting rid of (unless you count that one time when Ash decided to leave it with a tribe of wild Pikachus but his refused to stay), whereas he’s perfectly willing to let go of or shunt off to Professor Oak’s lab any other ‘Mon he captures, regardless of how long he’s known them. Plus, Pikachu has no compunctions with letting its trainer know what it thinks of any decisions Ash makes with a well-placed Thunderbolt, which by now Ash has grown a tolerance to (note that he never fights back against this) and it’s also not above putting Ash’s other Pokemon in their place. Thus, Ash is clearly Pikachu’s bitch.

• To make matters worse, Pikachu’s gender remains officially undetermined, so “hermaphrodite” is still an available option.

COOKIE CORRUPTION!!!

Chips Ahoy! LIES

This is the title image from my Stats AP final project. In it we proved Chips Ahoy! are NOT, despite all claims to the contrary, even close to 1000 Chips Delicious (TM). In fact, they were rarely more than 750 chips delicious. The Chewy variety? Around 600 chips. We proved this by buying some bags of cookies, then counting every chip in every cookie by hand. It took days in class. BUT WE EXPOSED THOSE LYING CORPORATE EXECS!!! And got an A-. so it’s all cool.

/b/ adventure

Today, I went to /b/ for the first time. WOW.

Exploits included:

§ Answering questions about Christianity

§ Determining you can’t blankpost without a NumPad

§ LULZ

§ Explaining the unpronouncability of Moot’s real name

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

POEM THREEEEEEEEE

CHAPTER 6

Last treatment for the burden

Purposeful tests ban action

Scrutinizing accounts of justice

Archaic Objectives

§

Fundamental states of restriction

Unduly aborted futures

First defense of unions

Remedial Barriers

§

Primary assurances of rights

Provisional changes in practice

Suspensions of private prohibitions

Accomodating Power

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Affirmations of civility

Declarations of limits

Exemptions from reason

Jure Sanguinis

§

DEAL WITH IT

MOAR ARTZ

One of many, but the only one I ever scanned and edited

Having learned that the description typed when uploading do not show, I present the following:

†

I actually drew the shape of this design by hand in pencil in under 15 min. I draw these sort of designs all the time, but this is the only one I actually made cool-ish. The outline turned out to be much more ragged than I had thought, but I ain’t fixin’ it.

MOAR POATREE

GOVERNMENT 1B

Where rates demand choices

Long-answered chronicles include liberty

Restraint conveys the difference

Processed libel

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Symbolic incorporation of expression

Dangers warrant criminal exceptions

Good-faith orders prevent exclusions

Arresting action

§

Popular production of History

Statements give a unified mission

Study of Power currents

Necessary focus

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GOD BLESS AMERICA!

An Art

A GIANT CHICKEN! OH SHI-

Boy, I have no idea where the description I just wrote went, but in summary, “†”.

Some things I learned just now…

Apparently, WordPress cares not for my double spacing of stanzas in poems. Thus, the random §’s on the left. Random §’s just gained some importance I guess…

A Poetry

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENTS

Citizens’ phonographs are at war

Advertisements show popular women

National structure exemplifies regression

Spanish felt does afford temporary insanity

Peace! Peace! Peace!

§

Construct love Primary, beginning a fundamental knowledge

Photonic perturbations condition instructors

Read! Write! Speak! Listen!

Private timetables phase time signals

Language of art!

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Original heroes prove the Question is absurd

Bureaus and reports, Unions and scabss

Modern Man!

Awakening rebels, scandalous fault

Dream! Dream! Dream!

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The Masquerade of Contemplation

Practical skills – Abstract disciplines

Public liberation gives rapid animation

Statistical culture addresses generations of Modernity

Language, Thought, and Mind!

§

THAT IS ALL

Welcome to “§ The OmniBlog §”

This blog will often make no sense. Okay, it will almost never make sense. NEVAR. So, yeah.

What will be found here? Well, until I lose interest (inevitable, btw), I’ll post my art, poetry (interesting kind, not the gay kind), and whatever else I want.

If you DO WANT, continue. If you DO NOT WANT, leave now.